Isn’t it odd that the messages contained in books read to us as children don’t fully make sense to us until we are adults…when we actually think about them!

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

This quote from Dr Seuss and the attached picture are ones I have used in a presentation Success Leaves Footprints.  Both remind me of the power of the groups to which we belong to influence us, both positively and negatively.

The photo shows a mass of people gathering for something.  Some of the people are attending because they really want to.  Many will be there not because they want to be there but because it supports what their friends and peers expect of them; at least what they think their friends and peers expect of them.

Exercising individual thinking and behaviour is not always an easy thing to do.  We are all members of different groups; sporting, family, work, school and social.  Most of the time we act in ways which fit with the expectations of the group.  This is fine if the group is one which is strong, holds good values and leads to outcomes which are positive for the group and for others outside the group.

What happens when the expected behaviours of two of your groups conflict?  Examples of this could be that you are an athlete who needs to shed a few kilos.  When you approach your mother and ask her to alter the foods or food quantities she serves, she may resist and say that she wants you ‘healthy’ (meaning you should keep eating all that she serves you) or ‘don’t you think I am feeding your properly?’

Another example is that you have a pre-season training schedule to meet from your coach.  Your friends tell you not to pay attention to that; rather, you should go out with them instead.  Often members of one group feel threatened by your behaviours if they don’t fit with the rest of the group and will subtly sabotage your good intentions.

This peer pressure can also work very powerfully in a positive way as well.  The athlete in the above example who chooses to do pre-season training with one of her highly motivated team members will finish the session proud of her efforts.

Look to the leaders in your groups who share the values and behaviours that you choose for yourself.  In this way you will still be doing as the group expects, except the outcomes are in line with how you truly see yourself and the objectives you set for yourself.

Mediocrity is for the masses, not for you.