When you thought about the answer I’m sure you created some kind of representation of those movies as you recalled them.  For example you may have recalled scenes, dialogue, music, the emotions you experienced from watching the movie or a combination of these.

The scenes that you recalled might have been one at a time from different movies, they
could have been occurring in a sequence, or maybe even multiple examples at once like a multi-screen monitor.  Ten different people may each have a different way of recalling the visual aspects of their favourite movies.

If I asked you to recall instances of acting with confidence, you would do something similar to what you did with the movies question.  You would bring up examples of different occasions when you acted with confidence.  For someone who has high levels of self-confidence this would be quite easy.  For those with lower levels of self-confidence the exercise may be a little more challenging.

Frequently when I ask people to recall times they have acted with confidence, they say they have difficulty doing so.  They usually add that they can recall plenty of times when they acted without confidence.  Regardless of how they would describe themselves, everyone will have memories (or representations) of having acted either with or without confidence.

Imagine it is like having a database of all of these memories.  Those examples may appear as still pictures or movies; they may be in colour or black-and-white; they may have sound; you will either be a participant (seeing things through your own eyes) or be an observer (watching yourself in the movie); you are likely to have thoughts and feelings about those examples; you might also recall the physical sensations, e.g., the heat or cold depending on the temperature of the day.

If you compare all of the examples of acting with confidence, you might notice that there are patterns to them.  Often these patterns include that you see things as if you are actually reliving them and experiencing them through your own eyes, hearing things through your own ears and vividly recalling the feelings and emotions associated with them.  For the examples of confidence, this is the best way to recall them; as if re-experiencing them.

The examples of performing without confidence are best re-experienced in a different way.  It is better to re-experience those memories as if you are an observer, with any sound turned low, and being detached from the emotion associated with those events.

People who struggle with confidence often do the opposite of what is described in the previous two paragraphs.  They vividly relive the examples of performing with low levels of confidence (or no-confidence) and fully associate themselves into those examples.  They struggle to find too many examples of performing with confidence, and when they do they re-experienced them as if they are observing from a distance.

If you are more easily able to bring up examples of performing with confidence where you are fully associated into those examples as if you are reliving them, you will use them as a filter to help you get more of the same.  This is one reason why people who are confident have difficulty recalling occasions of performing without confidence and why people with low levels of confidence have difficulty recalling occasions where they have performed with confidence; they filter them out.

Do either of these examples seem familiar to you?  It certainly makes sense to learn to filter your experiences so you have a better recall of the times you acted with confidence than with the times you didn’t.